mindset

Competition

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I’m an envious bastard.

There are a few (several) agents in my market that consistently sell more than me, and a couple of them have continued to grow and sell more despite my plateauing.

They’re good at what they do and they spend a lot of time and money in their businesses. I admire them, I know most of them fairly well. Still, when I see their success, it doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.

Real estate is a zero-sum game. When they win, I lose. The notion that “there’s enough to go around for everyone” seems to have never been less true than it is right now. We have low inventory, a glut of agents, and few buyers that are willing and able to buy.

I used to hear that though: “There’s enough for everyone,” and I would feel reassured. I remember when I first got into the business in early 2018 and my then-broker would talk about what it was like in a down market. She made the comment that they always made sure there was enough for everyone, but that they all had to tighten their belts a little.1

I’m not sure there’s going to be enough for everyone. I’m a pretty scrappy dude when push comes to shove. I have a somewhat trying upbringing and the Marine Corps to thank for that. But I expect that a lot of agents are going to struggle in the next few years—myself included.

Nationally, there are almost 7,000 fewer agents2 than there were at the end of 2022. But if you look back to August of 2022, there are almost 19,000 fewer.3

So people are getting out. For people who sell real estate who sell more than 10 deals per year, this is a good thing.

Why? You might think that it doesn’t make any difference if Janice stops selling real estate because she has a history of consistently selling 2-3 houses per year.

But what you may not have considered, is that Janice and all the other Janices out there are gobbling up the ones and twos, the here’s and the there’s, that you and the other top-producing agents would be listing and selling.

While they may not be on your radar, they ought to be in this regard. They’re eating up deals.

I’m still a pretty competitive person, whether I like it or not, and I don’t like seeing other people succeed. I’d like to though. It’s an intention. But I think this is still too primal for me. I’m 33 and have four kids and my wife’s home raising them. I’m competing with retired 65-year-old women who are married, don’t need to work, happen to know everyone, decide to get their license and they take off like a bat out of hell, for example.

I’m out for blood, man. I hate seeing them win. Makes me work harder.

It’s a weakness, a character defect of mine. And even though it’s not the type of motivation I aspire to be inspired by, it’s motivation nonetheless.

  1. For context, they were charging me and most agents there between 35%-%50% of every commission we earned. That’s not to mention that she was married to a doctor and co-owned the firm. I eventually left and went where I could make more money. ↩︎
  2. REALTORS®, with the numbers based on NAR‘s statistics. These numbers do not factor in licensees who are not REALTOR® members. ↩︎
  3. NAR – August Monthly Membership Report ↩︎
Competition

Service and Volunteering

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Tonight I was talking to a woman, face to face, about how she’s thinking about downsizing, and it was a point of discussion that happened to come up.

I serve on two boards, one as the Treasurer and the other as the President. I’ve done various forms of non-profit/volunteer work since I’ve been in real estate. It’s been an effective way to meet and mingle with people that I otherwise wouldn’t.

What follows is referrals and direct business from people that I work with in these different volunteering roles.

When I was early in real estate, my mentors at the time instructed me to find things that I was interested in and to volunteer in those areas. An important caveat was to not volunteer for things I wasn’t interested in.

Coming into real estate, I was a writer and an avid reader. Still am. My broker looked at me and basically said, “Well, you’ll need to either find some other things you’re interested in that involve people, or maybe things that have to do with reading and writing.”

So, I proceeded to get involved with the local library which was, at the time, raising millions of dollars for the construction of a new building. That works.

I had one child in the public school at the time. So, I got involved with the PTO.

The town I lived in has a Welcome Team that greets new residents at their homes and gives them a hand-woven basket filled with local goods and pamphlets. Pretty neat service to have in a small rural town in New Hampshire. So, I joined the committee!

I have an interest in buildings and architecture as well as history. So, I joined the Heritage Commission in another town where I lived later.

Most of these were in alignment with what I valued. They all were, really. It was more in the doing of these things where I was able to learn what groups I felt more comfortable in, and weeded them as I moved and as I did different things.

A friend called a couple years ago (who I met through my service in the local Kiwanis Club, which I joined very early in real estate) and asked me to help his organization search for a building to buy. The organization is a local transitional shelter.

We found them a building and they bought it and we went our separate ways. But I later had the idea that it might be a good board to be involved with. Any future purchases they involve me in, while I’m on the board, I won’t be able to financially benefit from. That’s okay with me. I liked the idea that it serves a population that I can’t otherwise help in housing. It counterbalances my work such that I feel like I’m able to help everyone with housing in my community.

Kind of cool.

And finally, the Kiwanis Club. I have been a member since I got into real estate, and last year I formally joined the board. Now, I’m the President of the club and my term begins next month.

These things are good things to do as a community member, but they also help me to build more relationships and relationships with people from varied backgrounds. It was an invaluable suggestion early on that I’m grateful I heeded.

Service and Volunteering

Never Judge the Lead

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Here’s how I almost threw away a $1,250,000 lead.

The day before yesterday, I showed a $725,000 house to a buyer I connected with through Zillow.

I’ve primarily done referral-based business for the last three years, with some early help from Zillow and Bold Leads. We recently decided to throw some money at Zillow because we’ve heard from so many people (watched so many people) significantly augment their business with it.

That being said, I don’t love it. I get the value, but the forced intro, the expectation that I’m going to get you your appointment in 45 seconds, the expectation of seeing a home together before meeting in person to talk and form a client relationship — these things all go against the grain of what I’ve done for a while.1

So, I got connected with this guy. He seemed a little terse or timid (couldn’t tell) on the phone, but I hung up, scheduled the appointment with the list broker, called him back to confirm, and sent him a subsequent email with the showing packet.

He doesn’t respond to the email… Alright. Whatever.

The next day, I finish a late-morning listing appointment and head to the general area where I’ll meet this guy.2 I have lunch. Then I called to confirm the appointment.3 He doesn’t answer.

At this point, I’m saying f-it and going for it with the hopes that maybe it will all come together. And if not, I’ll autopsy it and get better with my process — especially around these strange leads I’m not used to.4

I pull up. Nice house, amazing view, excellent plot of land. I’m pulling up the long driveway after driving up the long road, and two cars are in the driveway. A man and a woman (the listing broker is a woman), a late-90s drop-top Mercedes SLK, and a black Chrysler 300. Here goes.

Turns out, the Chrysler is here from the owner, and the SLK is the buyers’, and it’s him and his wife. They’re friendly and pleasant. All is good.

The other agent shows up. She’s a stud that’s been doing it for 100 years. She walks us in around up and down and talks the whole time. Little for me to say other than my little noises affirming what she’s saying and occasionally chiming in.

We finish up, say goodbye to the list broker, and go to depart. He thanks me for my time and getting them in there, shakes my hand, and says take care. The wife shakes my hand and says it was nice to meet me.

What would you think or feel when you got into your car and they were already driving away?

Did they really just want to see the house and are otherwise not interested in anything? Did I not say enough, or did I say something wrong or something that bothered them? Did I seem desperate?

Mind you, the showing was positive. All was good, or as good as one could expect, regarding establishing rapport with people you met in the last thirty minutes. But there was no, “We’re going to think it over,” or, “What do you think?” or, “We’re going to chat and let’s touch base later.” I had to insert something to that end and was met with no affirmation in return other than them saying it was nice to meet me.

So, I’m driving away thinking I just wasted a goddamn afternoon on this. Not to mention money and resources.

Something Brian Moses taught me was to never judge the lead. He hammered that, and I didn’t understand it at first. As time has gone on, I’ve grown to understand it more.

I knew these people just fucking blew me off. Still, I persisted.

Internet, or the lack of it available there, was a concern they mentioned. A large one. The wife works from home, and the husband owns a company and needs to be accessible even when he’s not at work.

Best you can do up there is satellite internet. The listing broker texted me later and said she spoke with a neighbor, and they said they had a high-speed provider. I had the thought of suggesting Starlink as well. So, I put together a simple email explaining that I couldn’t verify the availability of the Internet provider online but that they still may be worth a call. I mentioned, too, that Starlink was another option that appeared to be available, and I included screenshots and links and such.

No reply.

At this point, I expected that he wouldn’t reply to the email. I planned to call him yesterday to follow up on it and get some feedback.

That I did. I called him yesterday afternoon before I left with my family for a weekend getaway. No answer.

I left him a voicemail with something to the effect of, “Hey ________, it’s Sam. Give me a call when you get a second? 603-____-_____. Thanks.”

I expected I wouldn’t hear from him.

As we drove north to Lake Winnipesaukee, I got a call back. Spoke with him and he told me that, while the house was interesting and had beautiful views and a nice lot, it needed too much work. He explained some more about his reasoning and told me to let him know if something came up that checked those boxes or if the price on this one trended downward.

Fuck me, right?

It was fine. Everything was fine. But I about talked myself out of wanting to deal with this guy. I had begun to convince myself that he was just a jerk who didn’t care about wasting my time and didn’t even have the respect to call me (or respond to me) to let me know he wasn’t interested.

I was wrong. Never judge the lead. That’s. a $700,000+ buyer lead and a $500,000+ seller lead. That’s a $1,250,000+/- lead!

And I was about to flush it because I judged the lead. Thanks, Brian.5

  1. I’m trying to be open-minded in the interest of generating new business and leaving no lead source unexploited. ↩︎
  2. My immediate marketplace has next-to-no Zillow availability. So, I bought some in a small city about half an hour from my office. Not a place where I love to work, but the only viable option to experiment with Zillow. ↩︎
  3. This is typically not something I do. I want to show up and have them not be there so I can have a justifiable position of what-the-fuck for when we next talk because it puts me in more of a powerful position in the relationship. Unless they’re very callous (or if they just never respond again), they’re typically apologetic and regretful and experience the burden of reciprocity. In this situation, I didn’t want to drive another 20 minutes farther away and have this guy not even be there. Mainly because the showing was assisted, and I’d be wasting the listing broker’s time as well as my own. ↩︎
  4. This is something I’ve decided to do anyway. I need to qualify these buyers on the phone after I make the appointment. I need to develop a list of qualifying questions and run through that every time. They’re not warm, referral-based leads like I’m used to. To them, I’m the equivalent of a telemarketer, somebody who gets them their real estate showing and unlocks the door. ↩︎
  5. This is not an extreme or unusual example. This happens to me fairly often. Sometimes, people don’t fit into the mold of behavior that I expect them to. I trust this will happen less and less as I gain more experience, but it still gets me. How much money have you lost in commission income from judging the lead? ↩︎
Never Judge the Lead

The Autopsy Report

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Something I learned from an excellent real estate coach named Brian Moses is the importance of reflecting on things that go well and things that don’t. The emphasis was on things that didn’t go well, but it can be applied to positive situations as well.

Brian talked about filling notebook after notebook with what he called “Autopsies.” He would autopsy situations after they were done, in writing, to learn what he could do better next time when the situation presented itself again.

This is based on the professional wisdom that at a certain point, situations we encounter in business aren’t really new. My father-in-law talked about this during his last visit with us. He spoke about how employees that come into his business fit into archetypes and he can predict how well they’ll turn out in many cases because he’s seen and hired and fired the same guy (not literally) before.

Whenever I have a deal die or I have a lead that I feel should have converted but didn’t or when I lose a listing appointment, I autopsy it.

In practice, this basically looks like journaling about the situation. But more specifically, I ask myself where I could have done better, where I was at fault. On further reflection, It’s usually evident where I messed up.

The one that comes to mind is a listing appointment from last summer. They were sort of an odd couple, around my age, and the house was a bit unusual. Mostly because there were something like a half-dozen or more cats living there. There was one bedroom of the five that was actually for the cats.

The people were nice enough. He was a bit more forward, she a bit more reserved. I quickly grew comfortable with them because of our closeness in age. We toured the home, sat at the table, and I went through my presentation. Prior to the presentation, I felt that we had established rapport. I especially felt that way with the man.

Well, I have the unfortunate habit of vulgar speech. It’s rarely a problem in my professional life, but it’s a character handicap inherited from my parents and perfected in the Marines that I’d rather not have. Because I felt especially comfortable with the man, and to a lesser degree with the woman but still comfortable, at some point I began speaking freely as I would with friends.

At the time, it felt pretty natural. There were no adverse reactions, and there may have even been some reciprocity.

I followed up a couple times as it was just a matter of time for them to list. Then one day, she told me that her friend recommended she work with someone and she decided to take her friend’s recommendation. She wasn’t bitter about it, and she was obviously forthcoming and didn’t just ignore me. I asked her point blank if there was something more I could have done to win her business, or, if there was anything I could have done better.

She paused and seemed to consider it, then convincingly said, “No.”

I was a little pissed about the situation. It was in the bag. $12k, gone.

Of course, I hung up congenially enough. But I was hurting.

I thought of Brian. So, I opened a Word doc and wrote through it. It was informative for me. Similar to seeking direction the way I described in yesterday’s post, this is a way that I can uncover stuff that’s holding me back, stuff that I otherwise won’t notice that I’m coming up against.

Here’s the Autopsy Report below as an example:

Autopsy Report
 
(The Person’s Name Was Here)

I interviewed for the listing and she said she was going to clean the house and paint and get her shit out before listing in about a month. I followed up with her after 1 week via text saying, “Just checking in with you. Were you able to connect with Attorney _______ about the capital gains tax question?” She responded saying that she hadn’t had a chance to call him but would hopefully by the end of the week. I asked if she had any other questions or things I could assist with. She said, “No not yet. I’m working on packing and cleaning/painting.”
 
I followed up again two weeks later on 6/21/22 asking her how the painting was going. She responded “Hi, I’m doing good. I’ve just decided to go with a realtor that a friend of mine just used, but thank you for your time and advice.”
 
I asked her if there were any other differentiators besides her friend’s recommendation that helped her decide. She said no, it was just the recommendation.
 
Damn!
 
I could have communicated more often. I let two weeks slip by before I reached back out again. By then it was too late. How do I continue to add value while seller leads are in nurture mode? I didn’t establish sufficient trust for her anyway. I won over the boyfriend, but I didn’t win her over.
 
I swore profusely while I presented to them because I felt comfortable. That was a mistake.
 
My communication is limited to texts and emails on Tuesdays. While that’s a step in the right direction as far as what I’ve otherwise done previously (structure), it’s not a very upbeat rhythm. I need to increase communication, but do it systematically.
 
What else can I do to add value and help to build trust with sellers? Brian would say that I should have left with the client docs signed. Some of these sellers aren’t ready to sign though. I stumbled a little through the presentation too I remember because the listing sheets were the CloudCMA listing sheets and I wasn’t familiar with where some of the details are located on the page. I need to know them like I know my phone number. Even if there was some other factor, she wouldn’t say it. If there was some other factor, she may not even be aware of it. It’s more unconscious. Trust. You increase trust by increasing communication. But how do you increase communication with somebody without coming across as over-the-top? Maybe over-the-top would have been preferable to the bi-weekly texter…
 
She tells me she needs a month to get it ready to list. She finds a new realtor somewhere between week 1 and week 3. I could have called last week. I don’t call. I could have called ever. I could send her listings as they come on market. I could send them the digital pdf version of the report. I could increase the fear and tension rather than putting them at ease. How? By increasing motivation to list sooner because of market conditions worsening. Because of buyers disappearing and becoming more particular as time goes by.
 
The fact of the matter is, she felt no problem with taking another realtor over me and not letting me know. She didn’t care about letting me know because what I was delivering was a commodity service. There was no real relationship there. Nothing to speak of. Now, whether or not this is somebody that you would get lunch with, this is somebody that’s in the market to sell a $400k home. Transactional. She found you (number one) on her own, but then when push came to shove she preferred a referral from a friend of hers who’d just had a positive experience with someone else. You should use your referrals and Success Stories more in your listing presentations.
 
You could ask people who you’ve just helped if they know anyone who’s thinking of buying or selling in the next few months. Other agents do this, and this is part of the reason why they find themselves in these situations and you don’t. You have to learn how to ask for the referral.
 
Pay attention to who gets this listing. Irrespective, note that this is something that you do not know how to do and need to learn how to do. This is a weakness of yours, not a quality of your character.
 
Now don’t beat yourself up. God wants you to learn. Like Yoda said last night, “The greatest teacher, failure is.” Use it.

That’s a good example. I was able to uncover some ideas and insight that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Furthermore, I felt somewhat better after I wrote this out. I put my arms around it, identified where I fell short, and committed to not making those same mistakes twice. To me, this is the work of a pro. We all make mistakes. The question is whether or not we learn from them.

The Autopsy Report

Getting Direction

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I ended yesterday feeling as though I need to find direction for the energy I’m investing in my business. I was stressed and worried about money, and worried that I was spinning my wheels.

I’m unlike most people I know when it comes to seeking this kind of direction. I, like anybody, read things online to try to develop plans and designs about how to move forward and accomplish things.

The trouble with bigger questions is that the answers aren’t set in stone. They vary from person to person. Our tendency, as humans, to try to create a template for answering life’s questions is fallacious in that there are too many unaccounted-for variables for anyone to ever give the perfect answer.

But we look for patterns, as is our wont so that we can simplify the world around us and thereby live without massive confusion at even the mere prospect of fetching the mail.

What does that mean? It means that when I try to solve my life problems with the internet I typically don’t get far. I’ll usually make a strong start on something in some direction, then I peter out and eventually get back to square one or someplace like it.

I began my day remembering that I wanted to seek direction as I mentioned above. Instead of looking for more input, which is very natural for me and probably most people, I try to get as quiet as I can.

I’ve spent years meditating off and on and you could regard this as meditation.1 For me, I like to do this by submerging the back half of my head underwater while lying in the bathtub. I do it such that my ears will be underwater. It’s the most quiet my life ever gets. Something about the stillness and the silence I find in the water like that allows me to think extremely clearly.2

I’m a guy that does a lot of thinking. Perhaps we all are people who do a lot of thinking—I’m not sure. But I know that the thinking I do has degrees of effectiveness. Never is there a higher degree of effectiveness than when I’m taking a bath with my ears underwater like this. I float, and I listen.

It’s important for me to acknowledge, even if I’m reluctant to do so, that I have a spiritual belief system. I believe in something and I call it God. I grew up in a church, but don’t really give much weight to that at this phase of my life, and haven’t for many years. I mention this in the interest of authenticity, but also to convey the complete message of what I do to think.

Once I’ve settled in the water, I say a short prayer, and I ask this thing I believe in to enable me to set aside everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience. I ask it to help me see the truth of whatever I’m dealing with. Finally, I say in my mind, something to the effect of, “What would you have me focus on here?” and the intention, in this case, was centered on my work life.

Sometimes, in the past, I’ve done this and had things come up that weren’t pertinent to what I was seeking. Say I was seeking direction about work, I might get an intuition about my marriage, as an example.

Whether one believes in something greater than themselves, like a God or something or, if they don’t, I think there’s still value to this style of inquiry. Whether you regard it as self-inquiry or something more like I do, perhaps the results are similar.

Some interesting things came up. I’m a writer, self-admitted, and I’m also a collector, at least in an aspirational sense. The notion of content marketing for my real estate business is one I’ve long been interested in, and it snapped clear this morning in the bath that I just need to begin. I’ve spent months studying content marketing and nearly completing the Hubspot certification course on it, and I’ve read books and more books. But I haven’t begun. And that was part of the inspiration today, just that: begin. Make a beginning. Gather up some momentum, and then you can return to the fine details and fiddle and try your hand at perfecting later.

Even before that notion bubbled up (which I was very thrilled about, by the way, and felt massive relief compared to yesterday), one came first that was unexpected.3 My company is changing hands, and without breaching my NDA, I’ll say that there’s soon to be a new potential to generate revenue by means of recruiting agents to the company.4 This news was new last week, but the shift in perception in that I’m able to employ what I’ve learned about internet marketing on a national and global audience rather than a geo-local one is way cool and I’m pumped about it!

I keep a small notebook next to the tub on the floor and a hand towel so I can dry my hands and write legibly when ideas and things come up. In my experience, there’s a point of diminishing returns with this exercise. When I do it often, I don’t experience insight every time.5 When it’s irregular and I’m perplexed, it works for me.

This is the most important thing I could put down today, so I did. I feel fresh and relieved and I have felt that way all day. I was productive but not obsessive with my work. I read fiction for an hour. I worked on my novel for an hour. I spent time with my wife. I had an excellent day.

This is the reason why.

  1. Mostly “off,” by the way. But not an insignificant amount of “on,” to be fair. ↩︎
  2. I also have a hearing disorder called tinnitus which provides a constant ringing in my ears that’s amplified when I’m quiet and also when I think about it. The water doesn’t make it go away, but it gives me greater quiet and comfort than I’ve found otherwise. ↩︎
  3. These things tend to be unexpected, which is why I do it. This works for me, and it’s deeply more satisfying and intimate and personal for me vs. rewinding and playing a how-to Youtube video a couple times, taking a bunch of notes, and making some half-measure effort to do some thing that worked for someone once. This feels fulfilling. That feels obligatory. ↩︎
  4. Less than exciting at face value, but when I consider it, it’s an opportunity to have a global product that I can work to sell, and I can do so in a way that actually adds tremendous value for people. Looking at it through that lens excites me! ↩︎
  5. However, I do believe that when I was doing this exercise daily for several months, if not more than a year, I was producing both narrative writing/editing and real estate sales like it was effortless. I had a spring of power and energy and fortune that made for a very exciting period of my life. Why did I stop? Why do we ever stop doing what’s good for us? ↩︎
Getting Direction

Gross Commission Income as a Yardstick of Success

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Or as a cat o’ nine tails! GCI is a metric we hear a lot in real estate. Everybody in an MLS can see how much everybody else is selling. For some of us, that means the pressure is on.

The tendency to measure oneself against one’s competitors is strong, I would imagine, in any competitive person. The ability to do that in an objective way by using statistical analysis is somewhat unusual in business, though less in sales.

But we real estate professionals have this ability at our fingertips! The different ways in which this is useful are numerous, but I haven’t heard anyone talk about the ways it’s not useful.

For a guy like me, having a yardstick to measure myself against my peers is not something I enjoy. My tendency is not towards feeling satisfied, but towards feeling as though I could be/should be doing more.

Maybe I’m unique in this way.

This aspect of measuring myself against others doesn’t feel particularly healthy or wholesome, and it’s not a good index of success. When I’m up, I enjoy thinking of all the agents that have sold less than me. When I’m down, I’m filled, at times, with envy and resentment towards my peers for being ahead of me.

The same phenomenon occurs when we see the highlight reel of people’s lives and we think, “Why isn’t my life so grand?”

The reality is that everyone has to deal with life. But we can get a distorted perspective of it due to only seeing one version of the life that those people want us to see.

The lesson for me is that sales volume isn’t the only way I should measure myself. I’m at a point this year where I’m at half of my annual GCI for last year, only it’s September 11th.

Ouch.

Granted, I have some plausible excuses, but what it really comes down to for me, is that it didn’t happen. I had several opportunities with buyers, who are real buyers, but they didn’t buy. Likewise with sellers. I’ve had several listing opportunities but the people didn’t end up listing. To be fair, I’ve also lost two or three to competitors. The market has become more competitive and more saturated, both in the sense of new agents as well as larger agents and teams gaining more market share.

Part of the trouble is that there aren’t many homes for sale here. We’re in a low-inventory/high-demand part of the country right now. I wasn’t able to put several of those people where they wanted to be, at least not yet.

Additionally, I could say that I worked the backend of building a real estate team with my business partner, and the focus on that this spring took precedence over production. I also had my fourth child in April. But more than anything, the first thing is the reason.

Unlike some, I work almost exclusively by personal referrals and direct clients that I know personally. Other than that, I have people that find me online and contact me. I do some intermittent advertising, but not really enough to talk about.1 Because of that, I get what I get to a large degree, and being 33 in an otherwise older community, sometimes that’s not million-dollar listings. Sometimes it’s piece of shit tear-downs where the guy needs someone to help him navigate the short sale process.

Now, in light of those things, it’s more reasonable that I’m at where I’m at. Furthermore, I have existing deals and will likely bring more to the closing table other than those between now and the end of the year.

Irrespective, it brings me back to the idea that I’m measuring my self-worth against other people’s sales volume. That’s the problem for me.

This is mostly a spiritual problem. I’m putting all my eggs in this basket (work) and consequently, I’m deeply disturbed in this situation because what does this mean about me?

So, if my identity is all wrapped up in my work, and I don’t feel like I’m making progress in other areas of my life, I’m going to be all fucked up when I’m not producing at work—even when it’s outside of my control. I have to diversify. Work is still work, and I still need to do it and do it well. But when I’m balanced in other areas of my life, I’m better able to endure difficulty when one area isn’t going how I think it should.

So, I blew the dust off of a novel that I wrote and began taking it through the fourth round of edits a couple days ago. I began making time to spend with my friends over coffee for a couple of days a week before work. I’m talking about the way I feel and the emotions I’m experiencing around this with my wife and my close friends. I just began a big reading project that I’m excited about. I’m considering how I can be of greater service in my life to the different people and organizations that I touch, especially my family at home.

I’m counterbalancing the other roles in my life. Ironically, I’ve been putting the majority of my focus on work this entire year. Between that and exercise and my family, little attention above what’s expected or required has gone into the other areas. A bigger conversation is my tendency to “work” more in terms of showing up, but not working effectively and efficiently while I am at “work”. So I could benefit from some practical remediation as well as spiritual, and that’s going to become a focus as I begin my business planning for next year.

  1. I’ll be doing more now. ↩︎
Gross Commission Income as a Yardstick of Success

Top Contacts

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This is something I’ve yet to perfect but I have a belief in it because of how many people have instructed me to do it or something similar to it.

As a real estate professional, I’m in the people business, much as I hate to admit it. See, I don’t hate people, no not at all. But I don’t particularly love having to interact with them for my work.

I’m what is frequently referred to as an introvert. But, I get along well enough with others, so I’m moderately successful at real estate sales. This doesn’t help me though when it comes to spontaneously reaching out to everyone I know so I can be top of mind.

Yes, it’s not something I’ve been doing well lately. We participated in a coaching program earlier this year with Workman Success Systems and this is one concept they’re known for.

I identify my top contacts. This might be 250, 100, 50, or somewhere in between. The working notion here is that these people are the people most likely to refer me business. From here, I design a contact plan of how I want to keep in touch with them. At WSS, it was as simple as a phone call or a face-to-face meeting once per month.

A book that influenced me a lot earlier on is 7L – Seven Levels of Communication.1 Strongly recommend it. I may reread it now that I’m thinking about it. I could use some motivation around this.

The premise of the book is that trust comes as a byproduct of communication. When we communicate with people more and more, they trust us as professionals and become more and more likely to refer business to us.

So, how do we keep in touch with these people? WSS keeps it simple with a phone call or a face-to-face once per month.2 7L provides lots of ideas, an example of one is their emphasis on writing personal notes.3

7L also prescribes the task of grading one’s database. WSS had a similar suggestion. Most people think in terms of A, B, C, and sometimes D, and F. The point is that if I grade them, I don’t have to remember who’s at what stage, I just search for the categorical letter and see the list of people.

WSS used A is for leads that are expected to buy/sell/etc. within 30 days, for instance, whereas, A+ is an Ambassador in 7L — somebody who has before, and you expect to in the future, refer you more than 1 deal per year. Typically A (or A+) is the optimal grading, and people less likely to close or less likely to refer us business (depending on which model is used) would be graded as B, C, D, F, etc.

Some people make their entire careers just focused on direct referral. In order to do that, we have to be referrable. In order to be referrable, we have to behave remarkably when we’re dealing with clients.

Old Sam doesn’t always deal remarkably with clients. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to actually do our best so we can lay our head on the pillow peacefully, and so we can ensure that we’re going to be talked about positively by the people we’ve helped.

When it comes to this aspect of the business, we’re rewarded for being good at relationships. I sometimes feel that the effort makes it insincere, inauthentic. I have an angle, after all. So, I’m going to challenge myself to find a way to do it authentically for me.

Writing comes much easier to me. I could finally get serious about a work-related blog and send content out to my people once a month, once a week, bi-weekly, whatever. I could call the ones that I feel comfortable calling because I like them and they seem to like me.

Another way I could increase my SOI activity is by visiting people. I’m always so busy like every other real estate professional claims to be. 4 Getting out, intentionally, and visiting with past clients and friends in the area where I work is much more up my alley than the phone call. The visit, as opposed to the call, feels more meaningful for them, and it’s more fulfilling for me.

So, there I go! Win/win.

  • Begin a blog for my company and email the post however often I decide.
    • I’ll begin with a monthly newsletter with a market update and whatever other ancillary things that matter that I can think of.
    • I’ll post that as a blog post on our company website.
    • Maybe I’ll read the market report to a video screen and call it a YouTube video.
    • I’ll link both in our MailChimp account and send them out monthly to our subscribers.5
  • I’ll challenge myself to visit with one past client/member of my sphere of influence (SOI) every week.

For me, this feels both authentic and effective. It’s something I can get behind doing because it suits my personality and preferences more. Many people I know don’t mind making phone calls—it comes easily for them. Great. I think the important thing is mapping out a system and actually executing it for an extended period of time.6

  1. I’m a guy who’s had a considerable amount of my business come from people I know personally and from direct referrals from people I know personally. I believe this is due in large part to this book and the things it teaches. ↩︎
  2. I merely skimmed the Ninja real estate book you may have heard of. One concept that jumped out at me was this one. Very similar, they recommend a call every seven weeks to set up a meeting every eight weeks. Something like that. The approach is altered slightly everywhere but is otherwise ubiquitous. ↩︎
  3. Writing personal notes can be an effective and touching way to communicate. It feels very personal to see someone’s handwriting. A good rule of thumb with this would be to commit to writing X per day. In the 7L book, there’s an in-depth formula for how to write the cards. Use the formula if it’s helpful. If it deters you from writing them, it’s not serving you and you should just write notes. ↩︎
  4. But I’m rarely too busy for lunch with my business partner at the drop of a hat. ↩︎
  5. This will be distinct from the newsletter we’re already sending out, for this will actually be news! ↩︎
  6. Holiday cards, thank you notes, thinking of you notes, blogging, phone calls, client events, visiting them at their home, inviting them to visit you at your office or an open house, getting lunch/meals, play dates with their kids and yours, birthday parties, housewarming parties—the list goes on. ↩︎
Top Contacts

Things will be golden…

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Days like this happen. I have buyer clients interested in a listing of mine that’s for sale off-market. They were hot and all over it when I showed it to them Wednesday, but they’re exploring working with a lender who’s a family friend—meeting with him on Thursday.

The meeting happened, and there was some issue, they said, but they expected to know more Friday, or Monday morning at the latest. I texted Friday morning. No response. Saturday. No response. Again this morning, asking if I should instead call.

They finally responded saying that it was a difficult weekend and that they’ve not heard back yet…. I asked what the issue is. Is the lender not getting back to them? No response. Not my lender. There’s none of this with my lender, and it’s questionable whether this is true even with their lender.

What else? Another new buyer client who’s planning to relocate to this area next year replied to an email about a property in a terse way, explaining that they’re not interested in making a move yet, “as you know”. They specifically inquired about this property and told me to let them know about any others that came to the market.

What else? My assistant sent the wrong signed addendum — one that I was withholding for negotiations — to the lender and the title rep. This is on another deal for a listing I have. That was yesterday. Today, I got the right addendum back, signed, and was excited to have gotten a more favorable closing date for my clients, despite the confusion and mistakes made. The title rep, not an hour later, emails “breaking news” about the HOA contacting her about two compliance issues with the exterior of the unit that need to be resolved before closing. No problem.

She also mentioned that the mortgage payoff can’t be acquired before our newly established closing date because the lender takes two days to “input” payoff requests and five business days to process them. Closing will necessarily be delayed after I jumped through hoops of fire to get it shortened. These sellers already sold the home once and had a buyer walk at the final walk-through. There are other familial and legal issues that are further aggravating the sale. A doozy indeed.

New buyers I was referred were preparing to make an offer on a property today. I spent time on the phone last night (Sunday) and again today working through the details. I coordinated with my colleague who represents the listing. Got everything prepped. The buyer let me know that the buyer’s wife “talked herself out of this one” such that they would like me to instead set up a search for “my part of the state” so that I can make some “$$” if I end up “finding them something”.

I don’t say all this to complain (yes I do, but that’s only part of the point). I write it all out to illustrate that these days happen. It happens to be a Monday. For me, oftentimes, these things don’t happen in isolation. They happen in bunches like this. I get the shit kicked out of me, proverbially speaking.

But what’s important to remember is that these things are just that—things. They’re circumstances that are outside of my control. What’s inside my control? My responses to all these situations. I don’t respond to them all perfectly and diplomatically. I might have a little bit of unprofessional snark with the title rep who inadvertently sounded the alarms on something with her “breaking news” comment that added insult to injury in an already tumultuous and difficult transaction. I asked follow-up questions to each of the buyers who flaked in various ways within hours of each other — almost as though they were all conspiring against me!

But the important thing for me to remember is that this is part of the deal. I have days when the stars align and everything goes my way. I have days when it goes the other way. And, fortunately, I mostly have days that are somewhere in the middle. It’s all material. It’s all part of the job. It’s all part of life.

If I can take it easy on myself and not delude myself into thinking that these apparent negative results are a consequence of my actions or inactions — that they’re indications of my worth both as a professional and as a person — I’ll be okay. Take the punches as they come, and grab the opportunities when they come too.

It’s a difficult business to be in. It’s an even more difficult business to stay in. Keeping our heads on our shoulders is more than half the battle sometimes. Just make it through this day. One day at a time. Survive. When they quit and go get a “real” job, you take care of yourself, take a breather if you need to, and come back and do your work.

It’ll boomerang back and things will be golden.

Things will be golden…